This is the last of the bumblings and fumblings of trained professionals; when the going gets tough the tough descend into chaos. These are the actual musings, ramblings, comments and quotes of my very dear friends and colleagues at a nameless pupil referral unit… there are even some of my bons mots!
Even though the students won’t be in till 10 you still have to expect them in at 9
Does this coffee smell of fish?
You are here at X and we want to get you to Y – but you are stuck on W in the middle
I’ve made a unanimous decision
Their initial motivation is dwaying
They are very disaffective
A proverbial non-attender
Functionable
I’m going to put these pages in alphabetical disorder.
I really got my goat up
Plan destination led, personalised learning programmes that offer local progression routes
What is a pipette? I thought it was something you put under your tongue
I need a retinal scan for my passport – no-one is going near my bum!
Think how things pan out across the occupational piste
She keeps herself to herself, she’s a bit of a tom-john
One of the opening pundits
Teacher’s quiz:
Gary: what knot do you use for a business man’s tie, here’s a clue, it’s the castle where the Queen lives
Joey: Westminster
Gary: what knot do you use to stop a stage coach
Joey: a lassoo
Gary: what word is used for ‘U’ in the phonetic alphabet?
Joey: Ultravox
Joey to Dave: God, your mouse is very warm
Dave to Joey: Have you found that paper yet?
Joey toDave: I’m just trying to get over your warm mouse
Joey: you need some cream
Dave: I’ve got some cream
Joey: What sort of cream?
Dave: Cream
Lois Elsden 