The character of Rudi in ‘The Stalking of Rosa Czekov’ was so large that he seemed to overflow the story and become almost real… I don’t mean I think he is real, of course not! But when I’m writing sometimes I have to have back stories, and future stories which never appear on the page and exist only as notes or in my head, because the characters need to ring true, they need to have an internal reason for what they do and say, and that reason has to be based on their experiences and what has happened to them before.
Somehow, the songs Rudi wrote appeared in my notes…. not the music, only the lyrics, and as lyrics they don’t always read as well as they sound when sung. However, a couple of them, simple as they are, do read almost as poems. Here’s one:
Was it a dream, it cannot be true,
Did you make love to me and me to you?
Did we lie in the dunes, holding each other tight,
Did we kiss and caress as day said goodbye to night?
I cannot believe it, it cannot be true
That you made love to me and I to you.
Did I imagine the touch of your hand?
Was it an illusion, our love in the sand?
Was it a fantasy, me foolin’ again,
Or did your lips touch me like sweet summer rain?
And I must be mistaken to think that you sighed
You wanted me, needed me to hold you tight.
I’ll wake up soon and know it was only my desire
Which set my mind racing and my senses on fire,
And created from dream something so real.
It’s truly impossible that you really could feel
That you wanted my love and wanted me too,
Or could it impossibly be not dream but true?
Lois Elsden 