Many years ago when I had a day job, there was a member of the team, a senior member who was a lovely person but had a tendency to mix metaphors, adopt Mr Spooner’s way of expressing himself, and generally not always hear what was coming out of their mouth! I know I have shared some of these before, but I can’t help but laugh when I look at them again.
I haven’t include the most spectacular flights of linguistic creativeness ( “a gunpowder plot boy” – who knows what was meant? An anarchist? He liked playing with fire? Who now knows?) but here is just a selection:
- Bend over backwards and make a rod for your own back
- bushy eyed and bright tailed
- Can’t see the light for the trees
- Handed a spoon to redeem himself
- He sets himself up as a tangent
- I don’t want this to go between these two walls
- It’s good to have bolts and braces
- Lying out of his seat.
- Oh that old cherry (chestnut)
- Smoke on your face (egg on your face)
- Speaking hand on head
- That was a bit below the table (below the belt)
- The ears have walls
- Thorn in the ointment
- You could cut the ice with a knife

I guess that was just a sine of the times as he closed the stable door after the dog made a bolt for it. “Well, you don’t buy a donkey and bark yourself do you?”
I love these malaspoonerisms!
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I have a friend who misquotes Shakespeare, “I fingered my thumb at him” – I think he was thinking of Romeo and Juliet! Yes, malaspoonisms – hilarious! The worst is when you hear one coming out of your own mouth!!
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