Room 101

Room 101 is a TV programme; the title comes from the dreaded Room 101 in George Orwell’s book 1984, the torture chamber where the victims have to face their worst fear. The TV programme has a panel of celebrities, who talk about their most hated things which they would wish to consign to Room 101; the host of the show then decides which of the suggested things should be banished.

If I were on the show there are several things I would happily send to Room 1010…

• privet hedges… I think are unattractive, too often overwhelming all about them… but what is the most vile thing about them is the smell of their flowers…. yuugh!
• jazz… now I know that it is clever and amazing, and cool, and talented people play it, and people I respect listen to it… but really, I would send it straight into Room 101
• boiled sausages… I love sausages but I can’t abide them when they have been cooked in gravy or sauce; something happens to the texture of them and they become repellent
• background music in shops, especially book shops… even if I like the particular music that is being played, I just don’t like that babble of sound. What is wrong with the sound of people’s voices or footsteps?
• extra-large, super-large coffee cups… these huge two-handled tureens which some people order coffee in… for goodness sake, why would you want to drink that quantity; it’s just greedy and stupid!

Oh there are plenty of other things I would intolerantly send straight to room 101, but I’ll get off my high horse and send it out into its pasture!