From a dog’s eye

As we battled against the winds of Storm Dennis I found I was having an imagined running commentary in my head from the dog… It went something like this:

I really don’t want to go on this walk without mummy, having to go with old grumps is no fun. Oh well, I guess I might as well, I can hear treats rattling in her pocket and she spoils me more than mummy does…
I was just having a poo on the friendly man’s grass when she pulled me off; well, that’s not fair and now I have to hang about while she struggles to open the poo bag in this wind… mind you, this wind is bringing some nice smells…
So we get almost as far as the beach and then she says we can’t go on the beach because there’s been a high tide and we’re not allowed to go round towards the yacht club. I particularly wanted to go as I found some very nice seaweed yesterday, plus a big branch which kept falling to pieces when I tried to carry it, plus a nice big smelly fish. I wasn’t allowed to play with the fish but I thought if I could have run on ahead and found it before she stopped me I’d have had great fun.
We had to go all the way across a pile of washed up smelly stuff to get to a notice which told her about the tide, and rather than being allowed to have a good old rootle among it all she dragged me away. I had the rest of the poo at the entrance to someone’s drive to protest. We went back towards the boatyard, past the woolly bleating dogs in their field, When we went through the boatyard she wouldn’t let me off the lead; she said it was because I was naughty yesterday and wouldn’t come back to her and wouldn’t drop the plastic bag of strange stuff I’d found.
When we got near the campsite then she did let me off, and I decided to be good – I didn’t want the blasted lead again. She was very pleased with me when I got to the flat bit near the boats – she threw things for me and I chased them. I didn’t take them back to her, she has to make an effort with me and find me sticks.

We went through the gate along the flat bit, up and down, up and down, we only do it so often because there aren’t any other dogs; she doesn’t altogether trust me, and she had already been cross with me for barking at cars and other stupid dogs. A human was coming towards us and she put me on my lead. He was a nice human, and smelled lovely. He thought I was nice too and he asked old grumps if I could have a biscuit. She said yes and he gave me two. She told me to sit, which I did to get the biscuits, and the human said she was mean to make me sit in the cold wet mud. Actually I didn’t notice, and a bit of mud – or even a lot of mud never hurt anyone.
We went back through the boatyard and I was good with some other dogs because I wanted more treats. We got home and I let her wipe my legs, tail and tummy with a cloth because she would be pleased with me… old grumps being pleased means more treats. Then it was lunch, so that was good. I was a bit silly and they got a bit cross, but then I fancied a snooze, so all was well…
The featured image of me is from a couple of weeks ago, not here but by the reservoir. Note, I have no lead because I ate it…




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