More from a dog’s eye

More of my imagined commentary from the dog as we headed out into the wind and the rain.

Well, I suppose old grumps needs the exercise, but why she has to drag me along with her as well I have no idea; I’d had a nice breakfast and was just ready for a snooze when she approached me with the harness and I had to go through the performance of pretending I’m scared of it and don’t want to put it on so she will give me a treat. Last night I just couldn’t be bothered and point blank refused – but I managed to snaffle the treat. Old grumps was a bit cross and just put the lead on and out we went.
Now this morning, we’d just set off when those stupid little yapping dogs came along in the opposite direction; I was taken somewhat by surprise and didn’t let rip and old grumps was pleased and gave me some treats. Note to self, remember not to bark at other dogs, no matter how tempting.
I did a normal poo, and she thanked me for not doing a two bag poo – well that’s not something I have any control over. She said we couldn’t go through the boatyard because it was too muddy – I think it was because I ran off once before – honestly, I was only exploring, and then it was rather funny when she chased me round and round a boat, trying to get me back on the lead. Anyway we went on through the gate and I hoped we’d go in the place where I can run around and do rock climbing but “oh dear” she said “sorry, pooch, there are climbers in the quarry.” Pooch – I ask you!!
Another little yapster headed our way and i ignored him, more treats from grumps. Then an interesting Labrador sort came trotting up and we had a quick greeting session. His dad followed with an old Alsation and we had a quick greeting session too – I hoped I might be allowed to play, but they were too old and going home for lunch… hmmm, lunch….
We went on; plenty of two legged flying dogs about making a racket, but none came to say hello. We went through the big puddle to the gate; I walked round the edge, old grumps tiptoed through because one of her feet leaks. “It’s alright for you, Reg, you don’t have to wear boots,” she said. Well, obviously.
We went up and down a few times, and then I got in trouble for enjoying a deposit some other dog had left in the grass – she shouted at me and told me I was disgusting and then stood on it so I couldn’t reach.  I hung about a bit and then as I had calculated, more treats came out. An uneventful return homewards until we were on the hard grey ground where people walk. I could hear this barking, a sort of quackquack sort of barking. I stood up to look over the wall and old grumps stopped too, and there was a most remarkable sight. Some two legged flying dogs swimming along the rhyne!! I was astounded! Then they had a it of a falling out and one flew off and then another, and then they came back with a great splash, and all swam off under the bridge.
We got home and I felt shattered, so I had my usual mad frenzy of barking at nothing and trying to dig through the sofa and then I lay down and nodded off… I expect lunch will be soon…

Handsome chap, what? 


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