I’m sure I’ve written about this before, quite recently probably, but that’s the thing at the moment, life blurs into one endless round of same, same, same. Yes, I do things, I read the newspaper, I watch the news, I read, I go for walks, I go on little errands, I email, message and text people, I zoom, I share social media, I do chores. I’m not alone so I have husband and daughter, dog and goldfish to talk to. Really I shouldn’t complain, and really I’m not complaining, just commenting on how dull things are. My inner world is exciting enough, the stories I’m writing, the books I’m reading and the Scandi-noir series I’m watching, but in the outer world the real world, my everyday life it all seems so repetitive… and dull.
I gave myself a bit of a talking to today. This realisation of dullness has given me an insight into the lives of people who always have these restrictions which are only temporary to us. There are so many people, particularly older people, who are trapped at home all the time, restricted in what they can do and where they can go. Maybe it is a financial restriction, maybe it’s a different difficulty which makes venturing out difficult, challenging or impossible, maybe they have distant family, or few friends, or no friends. I find myself talking out loud more often than usual, talking to inanimate objects – the kettle which is slow to boil, the washing machine,the pairs of socks I’m trying to reunite, and I can imagine people who are always on their own must do this too.
My restricted situation is temporary; I’m optimistic in the hope that even though tomorrow’s news will not change the restrictions imposed – either legally or because we want to keep ourselves safe, and even though for the next weeks and months things may be no different, in six months time things will be better. Things won’t be the same as before, they never can be – but things are never the same anyway, life is constantly changing. In my ‘talking to’, I told myself to speed up, liven up, get things done, make use of this freedom from obligations, be more active and fight the dull. I’ll probably keep talking to household appliances, articles of clothing, I’m sure I’ll still not know what day it is, but I’ll try to do it in a more lively, active and combative way!