I’m vindicated of all responsibility

Having been looking through my long list of hilarious things people actually said in meetings, often not realising they’s made a slip of the tongue until their fellow colleagues all fell about laughing, I thought I’d share some more.

I know I have posted these before, but I laugh again every time I read them. These were all things my colleagues (and I) said accidentally in staff meetings, and all names have been changed:

1. Handed a spoon to redeem himself
2. Having had a very good start in terms 1 and 2, Jay has fallen off the top of the mountain in terms 3 and 4
3. He must use a time-keeping machine to try to be on time.
4. he only went aloof twice (awol)
5. He probably has a bed in his bedroom
6. He sets himself up as a tangent
7. He’s all piss and vinegar.
8. Her hair was like a Beefeater (bearskin)
9.  I can give you a reiki. I am very good at something being done to me and then knowing what to do.
10. I can see your chin growing longer (Pinocchio’s nose)
11. I can see your chin growing.
12. I didn’t realise what a lovely shape it was until Belinda got it out
13. I don’t want this to go between these two walls
14. I never have much success with that toilet in the ladies towel, it’s either pulled down and not changed or its pulled down all the time.
15.  I once went to a stretching seminar
16. I’m vindicated of all responsibility
17. I’ve been given a form from River Island to fill in  (Inland Revenue )
18. If a face could paint a thousand stories
19. If he’s upset we’ll suffer the backlog (backlash)
20. It only becomes an issue when it becomes a problem