Giving up

We are entering the last phase of Lent, the six-week period where Christians give up something they would normally eat as they head towards Easter. In earlier times this would be food such as meat or dairy products or eggs – which also tied in with lean times at the end of winter and before spring. These days some people may do that, but it’s more likely to be a treat like chocolate or cake or alcohol, and more recently some people give up a favoured pastime such as social media. The idea of giving up something which is normally a part of your everyday life is to make people more aware of things outside and within themselves, to reflect on their own lives, and those of others less fortunate.

In a non-religious way, and quite often linked to raising money for charity, people give up things at other specific times – before beards and facial hair became so fashionable, Movember was a charitable way of raising money and awareness of men’s issues such as prostate cancer, depression and suicide by not shaving during the whole of November. Sometimes it is just purely to raise money for a good cause, to be sponsored to do something (even if there is a nice pay-off for the person doing it – losing weight, going on a long cycle ride, a mountain trek etc.)

The idea of giving up something for a certain period is attractive as a way to test yourself; can I do without such and such, can I control my desire for something else, can I actually go for a set amount of time without whatever it is?

When I was pregnant I happily gave up alcohol and foods such as soft cheese, paté shellfish etc without any difficulty, and more recently when I was on a particular medication I gave up beer and wine, and coffee and tea (the last two were a bit more of a struggle!)  About ten years ago, using the period of Lent as a useful start time with a definite beginning and end, I gave up alcohol. My main problem was what to drink when I went out – I don’t like sweet drinks such as cola or fruit juices, I’m not that keen on fizzy drinks, so I ended up drinking soda water or very dilute squash… I suppose it kept me well-hydrated… A friend came to visit and took us out to dinner at a very expensive restaurant; he bought a fabulous bottle of wine, way beyond what we could afford… and I didn’t have any… he suggested I had a drink and then did an extra day at the end of the challenge, but I said ‘no’. At the end of the six weeks I had not lost any weight, I didn’t feel any more healthy or better in any way at all. I was pleased I had done it but had no other reward (and I did feel very grumpy while I did it!)

My daughter decided that she was going to give up chocolate for the month of March… she is the #1 chocolate fan so it has been really hard for her; she has a very sweet tooth so it also meant no chocolate cookies, buns, muffins, biscuits, spread – and no pain au chocolat either! I wanted to do something in solidarity, but as I don’t eat chocolate, giving it up was no big deal! I hit on the idea of giving up solid dairy – butter and cheese. I thought this would be easy… but no!! I have not given way, except when I accidentally put butter on some toast when we were away staying in a hotel, and ate half of it before I realised. It has been really hard! The most difficult thing I’ve ever given up! No cheese and biscuits at lunch time, no cheese sauce to go with pasta, no  sprinkle of cheese or knifeful of butter on jacket potatoes… And usually we trial hot cross buns to see which is the best – impossible to judge properly without butter!!

And here comes the dilemma… tomorrow is Good Friday, Christian people might break their fast and indulge in some hot cross buns, we just love those spicy fruity glossy sticky buns… but without butter? Should I have butter on them tomorrow, then do an extra day without butter and cheese on Sunday? Hmm, a dilemma.