What ho loyal readers, Reg here, bringing you all the news from my home in the streets near the beach and near the hill. To be honest, my loyal few, there’s not much news; they humans keep trying to drag me outside, they say I need a walk, that I want a walk, but to be honest when there’s masses of wet stuff falling from the sky, I’d rather chew the sofa. We did go down to the beach tonight, ‘oh the tide’s coming in’, they said. No idea what they meant but then the water started chasing me which definitely was not on; I was just sniffing an interesting piece of seaweed when this wet stuff came rushing up my legs. Before I could bite it, it rushed away again!
We didn’t stay long but headed home and as we were approaching the homestead, I saw him! Blasted Mr Vulpe strolling across our garden! Damn him! The cheek! I set off to defend our house and home, but Mummy yanked me back. ‘It’s only a fox, Reg,’ she said. Only a? Only a!!’ I was incensed until she gave me a biscuit and then as Vulpe had buggered off, I took advantage of the magic tube she has which delivers what she calls spready cheese, whatever that is, but it’s pretty good and compensated for not chasing off that scoundrel.
It was almost as bad as last night. I was out with Old Grumps. I could smell Dl Vulpe as soon as she opened the door but she wouldn’t let me see him off, instead I got a couple of biscuits and told to be a good boy. I can do that, I can do the good boy thing. We set off and would you credit it? Vulpe bătrână strolled across right in front of us!! Old Grumps didn’t see him of course, too busy fussing about something, and then i got told off for being silly! Herumph! We got halfway down the road and another blasted vulpe went right in front of us and hid under what she calls a car. She didn’t see him either, but I think she guessed why I was straining on the lead. She told me I was a good boy (again) and we turned round and went home.
Just as I was getting ready for a snooze, we no sooner got in than we came out again and she put me in the metal box, yes I know they call it a car. We went somewhere and when we got, out the wind was lovely but Old Grumps said ‘brrrr it’s cold, we won’t stay out long’. Fair play to her, we headed for the beach and walked down it then up it, then I was brave and went up some steps and we walked on the path towards the bright lights. Then, you aren’t going to believe this, then another blasted vulpe jumped over the wall from the beach and casually strolled across the road right in front of us! I was so taken aback I hardly had time to bark before Old Grumps was shoving biscuits in my mouth. I had a choice – go looking for vulpe and do him over, or eat more biscuits and be called a good boy and have a treat when i got home.
She was right, it was cold, so I agreed to turn round and we walked back along the beach and back to the car. ‘What a very good boy you are, very good, you didn’t make any fuss about that naughty fox, did you,? Good boy, good boy Reg!’ I got another load of biscuits and then when we got home she told Dad and he gave me a big chewy thing. All in all, despite not getting to trounce old Vulpe, it was a good night.
That’s all for now folks, noapte bună, chums!