One of the story lines in my latest Thomas Radwinter novel, “Something or Nothing” is about a drunken someone who keeps getting mistaken for him. Thomas has even had the police turning up at his office to question him about rowdy behaviour when he was either at home with his wife and family, or working with his clerical assistant and his researcher. Here is an excerpt from the novel, where once again, while out with his wife Kylie, his annoying double is causing him grief:
“I want to dance, Thomas,” Kylie unexpectedly announced.
Once, the idea of going somewhere to dance would have filled me with anxiety, but no more! I can do anything now I have Kylie!
It was Friday night so everywhere was busy, a nice bustling, celebratory atmosphere and soon we were standing outside Monte Carlo’s. It was a club we’d not been to before, with a crowd of others, waiting as the bouncers vetted the clients. I wasn’t thinking anything in particular except we’d have a bit of a dance and enjoy our evening.
It therefore came as somewhat of a shock when the big burly bloke in a black jacket with security badges on his shoulder and an earpiece stopped us.
“You’re barred, mate!” he said forcefully. I glanced over my shoulder thinking he was talking to someone else.
“I’ve never been here before,” I reigned in an indignant reply. Calm is usually best in these situations.
“Never been here before? Pull the other one! You’ve been given fair warning, now bugger off.”
This was ridiculous. A second doorman appeared and asked what the problem was, suggesting we move to one side and let the other punters in.
Kylie was beginning to fizz, she has a somewhat shorter fuse than I do. I was indignant and embarrassed, she was bristling.
“You’ve been given fair warnings, mate, if you can’t behave yourself you can’t come in!”
I was preparing a firm riposte because this was not merely annoying but embarrassing! In my former life I was so often embarrassed, ashamed and felt diminished, I never want to feel like that again.
I was gearing myself up for a bit of outrage, and then walk away with as much dignity as I could summon, when a third bouncer stepped out, and glancing over, called a greeting to me.
It took me a moment to recognise him as Nicky, David Hollis‘s big brother and when I say ‘big’ I mean it. David is big but Nicky is huge.
“Tommy mate, haven’t seen you here before, how’s tricks?”
I don’t like being called Tommy by anyone other than my brothers, but on this occasion I didn’t mind one bit!
It turned out to be mistaken identity of course! It was no doubt the same scruffy Herbert who everyone keeps telling me about. The first doorman apologised sincerely, more than a little embarrassed because now he came to look at me properly, he could see I wasn’t anything other than an ordinary bloke out with his wife.
“But bloody hell mate he could be your blooming twin! Couldn’t have been your very drunk brother?”
I’m sure you’ll want to find out more about the annoying double, about the old lady with the emeralds to die for, and the mysteries of the abandoned hotel in the forest, so here’s the link to the e-book, I will update with the paperback details as soon as they are available:
Lois Elsden 